Courage:
Published 2/01/2010
By Spencer Sensei
In martial arts we seek perfection. Joe Montana once said, and I paraphrase, that he sought perfection, and if he failed that he would only achieve greatness, which was okay with him. Every practice the karateka should strive to perform better than his/her last effort. Seeking perfection takes courage, because you just might fail. On the nights that you just do not want to be in the dojo, it takes courage to push on challenging yourself knowing the only one that may see the improvement is you. This attitude creates champions. It takes courage to reach for the brass ring. Anyone can say, “I can’t.” It takes courage to try especially if your souse or parent tells you that you could never measure up. Getting out of bed to go to work, so you can keep your family under shelter is everyday courage. Courage can be on a great or small scale, but courage is still overcoming fear and going into a situation you’d rather avoid. Cowards avoid confrontation. Do you have the courage to be a champion?
Firemen, soldiers, and police face life and death moments and, in those moments they cower or show courage on a large scale. It is a fine line that is drawn between the hero and the coward. Heroes swallow their fear and do their job. They become larger than life by placing themselves between the citizen and the maniac. My son has so far done three tours in Afghanistan and one in Iraq. He has seen his friends die. His actions in combat have won him medals, and that took big courage, but what is missed by the American public is the silent courage that his/her family exhibits each time he/she goes to war. I’ve been there in the quite moments when my grandson, with tears in his eyes, asked me if his dad was going to die. Courage drives his wife and children to live as if their lives were normal. No one has a parade for the spouses of those in harms way. No medals are given for their courage. They just get up every morning and fight the battle of school, flu, and missing their best friend. It is the sacrifice of the police officer’s, fire fighter’s, and soldier’s families that go unnoticed, yet every day they worry that this might be the day a knock at the door brings life changing news. Divorce is high in these professions. Some spouses cannot face the changes that war brings to the one they loved. Many cannot endure the separation, so they opt out of the situation. The courageous spouses thanklessly battle on.
Many people face cancer. My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and is battling the disease. She faces the chemotherapy with a smile on her face. The smile is not because she is happy, but because she does not want her husband and family to worry. Each morning she courageously faces another day of pain. My mom takes each day and reflects upon life. She once told me that she realized life was like a jigsaw puzzle. Each piece held the face of someone that had entered her life. Only at the end when all the pieces were in place could she see the big picture purpose of her life. She could have stayed in bed questioning God about her fate, but she courageously sought to find a greater purpose in her existence. No one speaks of the cancer patient’s courage, but it takes courage to fight the disease. Many tire of the pain give up and surrender. No medals are awarded in the cancer patient’s battle.
Curt Warner once gave a speech on what it means to be a champion. I was fortunate enough to hear that speech. He gave several examples of what makes a champion written by other world class athletes. One story of courage resonated with me. I could not stop thinking about it. Lance Armstrong the Tour de France winner’s story epitomizes courage and the heart of an athlete. At the half way point in one of his races he was so dehydrated the fluids had to be pump into him intravenously. Weak ill and in pain he would face the most difficult challenge of the race. The next part of the race would be through the mountains. Most men would have stayed in bed, but Armstrong up threw back the window curtains only to see it was raining that morning. This was not an ordinary rain. The wind was blowing so hard the water was moving horizontally. He would have to ride up the mountains and into the wind. Armstrong knew he could win this race now because he was the only one that wanted to ride. It was his courage and heart that led him to victory. Yes… Lance Armstrong did receive a medal for his courage.
The parent’s of special needs children must be courageous. Sadly, many men walk away from the family when a special needs child comes into their life. It takes courage to stay in the fray, and yes it is difficult because these children make you work harder, but the reward is their unconditional love. Have you ever seen a special needs parenting award?
In my years of teaching the martial arts I’ve seen a lot of shy children. They’re so timid that they refuse to test for promotion. I have also seen these children’s confidence grow to the point they’re able to compete in tournaments. This fear to the natural competitor seems ludicrous because it takes no courage for them to compete, but for the child with self doubt it is like skydiving without a parachute. Some win trophies, but their biggest victory comes when they overcome their fear of inadequacy. Their courage makes them champions. Not all children can get out of the box that they, a teacher, or a parent have placed them in, but this old sensei smiles when he sees one escape the bonds of their shyness and pass through their fear charging into victory.
Karate can be the tool that a person plagued by self-doubt uses to escape the cage that someone else’s words have constructed for them. A parent, spouse, sibling, or teacher has told them, over and over, that they could never measure up and they believed them. Your too fat, too clumsy, too stupid echo in their mind while practicing in the dojo and any little failure reinforces their false identity. They do not understand that success is built upon failure. A lotus blossom opens one pedal at a time when the sun shines upon it. These students are like the lotus blossom. With each little success a link in the chain of self-doubt falls away. Once they see that they can be successful in karate they begin to wonder what other goals they might achieve. It takes courage for them to try karate because the people that placed them in the cage want, for whatever reason, to keep them there. It takes courage to come to class each time wondering if today is the day I will be exposed and make a fool of myself. The fear of inadequacy can be crippling, but with courage karate can help a person slay the dragon of self-doubt.
Courage comes in many sizes. Warriors face life and death, so their courage is measured on a large scale, but the everyday courage, is in its’ own way, is just as great. I saw a grown women pass out from fear while giving a speech. She was embarrassed, but all I could think about was how much courage it must have taken fro her to stand before that group. She must have been living in fear for days prior to the presentation, yet she walked to the podium and pushed past her fear to do her job. She did not drive a tank or jump from an airplane, but she just might have more courage than I do. Do you have the courage to face your fear?